Title : The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Story Link : [no longer available]
Author :xoxmarshaxox
Status : Ongoing, 12 chapters
Workshop : Forever Here For You ~ Review Shop a.k.a. Literature Mused Reviews
First Impression Section
Title [4/5]
The girl with the dragon tattoo~! Stylish!
It catches my attention, so, personally, I would stop to look at the story.
Mafia, darkness, mystery, here I come!
It catches my attention, so, personally, I would stop to look at the story.
Mafia, darkness, mystery, here I come!
Foreword & Description [9/10]
It was rather plain when the description started so I wasn’t expecting much.
But coming to the second paragraph, you totally peeked my curiosity.
But coming to the second paragraph, you totally peeked my curiosity.
Interesting. (nods)
Graphics [5/5]
Fiction poster and the chapter poster in the first one are gorgeous.
The background is matching.
Good choice of tones, monochrome colours and red says ‘mystery’.
The background is matching.
Good choice of tones, monochrome colours and red says ‘mystery’.
Sub-Total [18/20]
Creation Section
Originality [26/30]
It definitely is something fresh.
I’ve seen stories with this concept, certainly.
But the storyline is different, good job in adding a twist to it.
I’ve seen stories with this concept, certainly.
But the storyline is different, good job in adding a twist to it.
I couldn’t give you full marks though, because nothing is perfect.
I mean, I’ve seen stuff like getting into a mess with gangs, struggles to get out with help from certain someones.
I mean, I’ve seen stuff like getting into a mess with gangs, struggles to get out with help from certain someones.
Storyline / Plot [28/30]
I got excited in smut scenes... Sorry.
Anyway, love your storyline.
It is very unpredictable and I don’t even try to predict anymore.
Anyway, love your storyline.
It is very unpredictable and I don’t even try to predict anymore.
Dramas, climaxes, check.
The story just never gets away from peeks, trust me. It’s a masterpiece.
The story just never gets away from peeks, trust me. It’s a masterpiece.
Language [15/20]
Minor grammar and spelling mistakes and misuse of words here and there, but it’s not too frequent.
Plus, I see that you’ve improved from your previous reviews.
Watch out for tenses you use though, present & past, don’t get is muddled up.
Choices of vocabularies indicate that you’ve mastered the language in that section.
I’ll just point out a few of the mistakes.
Plus, I see that you’ve improved from your previous reviews.
Watch out for tenses you use though, present & past, don’t get is muddled up.
Choices of vocabularies indicate that you’ve mastered the language in that section.
I’ll just point out a few of the mistakes.
Chapter 1
Seungri ruffled through his hair at the same time as his pacing on one spot.
Seungri ruffled through his hair at the same time as his pacing on one spot.
Chapter 11
white leather jacket he wore
lightning bolt, not lightening bolt
and bent down to her
pulled out his cell phone, preparing to call
the large shopping mall, not hlarge
white leather jacket he wore
lightning bolt, not lightening bolt
and bent down to her
pulled out his cell phone, preparing to call
the large shopping mall, not hlarge
Chapter 12
a bunch of nobodies
watched at her
a bunch of nobodies
watched at her
(spelling)
no where nowhere
coach (carriage/athletes’ trainer) couch (seat)
fool full
male mall
pyne pine
even thought though
tried tired
to two glasses
melancholy
waist waste time
no where nowhere
coach (carriage/athletes’ trainer) couch (seat)
fool full
male mall
pyne pine
even thought though
tried tired
to two glasses
melancholy
waist waste time
Flow of Story [20/20]
It doesn’t get stuck, not even when there’s minor language mistake.
Your language mistakes don’t affect the story much, which is a good thing.
Bonus, I don’t get confused at all, unlike some of the stories I read.
Your language mistakes don’t affect the story much, which is a good thing.
Bonus, I don’t get confused at all, unlike some of the stories I read.
Sub-Total [91/100]
Bonus Section
Characterization [9/10]
Good thing you bothered to introduce the characters in the foreword section. Love it.
Your personality traits of characters aren’t cliché, so I’m rather impressed.
Your personality traits of characters aren’t cliché, so I’m rather impressed.
I’ll pick one example, usually main character (girl) is either naive, innocent, helpless and defenceless, or, emotional, cold, bitchy and tough.
This girl of yours, tough and independent, but shows affection towards her brother and friends, plus she thinks before she takes action.
This girl of yours, tough and independent, but shows affection towards her brother and friends, plus she thinks before she takes action.
Style of Writing [10/10]
It sounds professional, at least it sounds like a proper fan-fiction.
It contains lots of dialogues, and people say stories with lots of conversation mean the author has not much skill.
I see that the saying’s not true, now.
It contains lots of dialogues, and people say stories with lots of conversation mean the author has not much skill.
I see that the saying’s not true, now.
Captivity [5/5]
What more can I say?
I finished up the whole story within a day.
I just can’t wait to lay my hands on it again every time I put it down.
I finished up the whole story within a day.
I just can’t wait to lay my hands on it again every time I put it down.
Format & Layout of Story (Neatness) [4.5/5]
One thing I like about your story, the paragraphs are not too lengthy.
I enjoy reading stories like this rather than those with long paragraphs, it makes me skip lines impatiently.
No more need to be said, you separate everything well, never jumble things together. Thumbs up!
I enjoy reading stories like this rather than those with long paragraphs, it makes me skip lines impatiently.
No more need to be said, you separate everything well, never jumble things together. Thumbs up!
On the other hand, bigger font size makes it more convenient for readers.
Readers using Internet Explorer can easily zoom in, but not those using Mozilla Firefox (and it’s a rather popular software).
Readers using Internet Explorer can easily zoom in, but not those using Mozilla Firefox (and it’s a rather popular software).
Sub-Total [28.5/30]
Total [137.5/150] / [91.7/100]
Solid distinction~!
I’m not flattering you. Just being honest.
I’ve heard that you’re rather popular here, but when I read your story, I knew it for myself as to why you’re popular. I was totally... attracted to it.
Kyaa~~~ You do write well...
I’ve heard that you’re rather popular here, but when I read your story, I knew it for myself as to why you’re popular. I was totally... attracted to it.
Kyaa~~~ You do write well...
All de best to you~
(Gratz on getting featured~)
(Gratz on getting featured~)
- Claraine
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