Title : You Make Me Stronger
Story Link : [click]
Author : tayree
Status : Ongoing, 11 chapters
First Impression Section
Title [2/5]
You Make Me Stronger, something new, but not exactly appealing.
One thing I can tell from it, that person has been through some difficulties in life. Whether it’s a story of friendship, family, or love, I’ve no idea.
One thing I can tell from it, that person has been through some difficulties in life. Whether it’s a story of friendship, family, or love, I’ve no idea.
It’s good to keep things a mystery for readers to keep trailing the story, but not without alluring them first.
Foreword & Description [8/10]
Okay, I need to read on.
Seems like Sungjong is going through some kind of illness, I know where this leads to…
Seems like Sungjong is going through some kind of illness, I know where this leads to…
Tears me apart if well-written. And I do enjoy moments of intense emotion. (seriously)
Plus, it’s not going to be the cliché story of can’t-look-out-for-myself main character who needs the totally-perfect prince charming.
Plus, it’s not going to be the cliché story of can’t-look-out-for-myself main character who needs the totally-perfect prince charming.
I deducted some points for slight grammar mistakes though.
Graphics [3/5]
Blue is your choice of colour, I see.
To be truthful, I can’t tell the mood of story from this.
Whether it’s a comedy, drama, romance, in happiness or melancholy…
To be truthful, I can’t tell the mood of story from this.
Whether it’s a comedy, drama, romance, in happiness or melancholy…
The poster, I can see that you decide to just frame their pictures.
The background is plain, but at least it’s not distracting.
Simple is safe. Overall is not the best, but it’s satisfactory.
The background is plain, but at least it’s not distracting.
Simple is safe. Overall is not the best, but it’s satisfactory.
Sub-Total [13/20]
Creation Section
Originality [16/30]
I couldn’t see anything too original in this story.
Well, but your character traits, yes.
Still, that goes into the characterization section, because it’s rather minor, and we’re talking about the storyline here.
Still, that goes into the characterization section, because it’s rather minor, and we’re talking about the storyline here.
Storyline / Plot [18/30]
There are many couples in the story (three), in which you take turns to describe in details.
It makes things kind of slow and confusing.
Example, in Woogyu, the beginning part where Sunggyu was running away from making their relationship known to the public is boring.
It makes things kind of slow and confusing.
Example, in Woogyu, the beginning part where Sunggyu was running away from making their relationship known to the public is boring.
Still, I LOVE reading Myungjong moments~!
The beginning two chapters was rather unattractive, but changed as the story unfold itself. Still, at the end of chapter 11, I’ve a feeling that it’s going to get cliché.
Myungsoo is hurrying up everything because something bad and critical happens to Sungjong. Am I not right?
Myungsoo is hurrying up everything because something bad and critical happens to Sungjong. Am I not right?
Language [16/20]
Minor grammar mistakes scatter here and there, barely any spelling mistakes though.
Vocabularies used are rather simple, but simple is nice. Don’t take the risk if you’re not confident in it.
Vocabularies used are rather simple, but simple is nice. Don’t take the risk if you’re not confident in it.
I spotted a few mistakes on tenses, between present and past, like most stories.
Suggestion? None other than to proof read your story.
Suggestion? None other than to proof read your story.
Flow of Story [15/20]
Like I mentioned, it’s a little slow because all three couples are written in details.
My suggestion, make Woogyu’s shorter.
I think YaDong’s short enough. They’re only major appearances in a chapter or so.
My suggestion, make Woogyu’s shorter.
I think YaDong’s short enough. They’re only major appearances in a chapter or so.
Still, overall is fine.
Story flows smoothly. Keep it up!
Story flows smoothly. Keep it up!
Sub-Total [65/100]
Bonus Section
Characterization [8.5/10]
As I mentioned earlier, your characters are rather original.
Maybe not, but I love how you portray Myungsoo.
Maybe not, but I love how you portray Myungsoo.
He’s still an obedient boy even though his family is strict on him.
He doesn’t talk to others much because he doesn’t know how to, not because he’s emotional, like most ‘ice princes’ in stories are.
He doesn’t talk to others much because he doesn’t know how to, not because he’s emotional, like most ‘ice princes’ in stories are.
Okay, thinking it over, the characters aren’t really that original.
Still, I like it.
Still, I like it.
Style of Writing [7.5/10]
There are misuse of descriptive words at times, making the part sounds slightly funny.
To be more objective, at times it’s too emphasized, for example, Sungjong spied his father when he walked into the kitchen openly?
At times it sounds too flat for a supposed-exciting situation, when Sungjong first woke up, he said ‘Good morning world~!’ then ‘are you ready for me’, it spoils the whole energetic, enthusiastic and hopeful atmosphere which is building up.
To be more objective, at times it’s too emphasized, for example, Sungjong spied his father when he walked into the kitchen openly?
At times it sounds too flat for a supposed-exciting situation, when Sungjong first woke up, he said ‘Good morning world~!’ then ‘are you ready for me’, it spoils the whole energetic, enthusiastic and hopeful atmosphere which is building up.
Still, your style works its magic when you attempt to make it sound hilarious. Thumbs up! Love it!
Captivity [4.5/5]
Somehow, I do like your story!
Despite its originality of idea and stuff, I simply love romance.
Despite its originality of idea and stuff, I simply love romance.
Fresh or cliché love story plots, I dedicate my time for it as long as it’s well-written.
Format & Layout of Story (Neatness) [5/5]
It’s easy to read.
The dash (-) applied at switching of scene helps.
The dash (-) applied at switching of scene helps.
There’s nothing much to be unhappy about in layout of story.
Sub-Total [25.5/30]
Total [103.5/150] / [69/100]
All the best to you in your story! ^^
I’m being strict here, so don’t be too troubled.
I like your story, but if judged from these aspects, it just doesn’t really work. =)
I’m being strict here, so don’t be too troubled.
I like your story, but if judged from these aspects, it just doesn’t really work. =)
- Claraine
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