Title : I Wanna Love You
Story Link : [click]
Author : vampire_gurl0710
Status : Ongoing, 23 chapters
Workshop : Forever Here For You ~ Review Shop a.k.a. Literature Mused Reviews
First Impression Section
Title [2/5]
I Wanna Love You...
I’ve come across titles similar to this one for more than a few times.
Plus, it’s going to be a love story and I know nothing else. (meaning, it doesn’t show much about the story)
I wouldn’t say it’s dull, but it’s not eye-catching either... ^^
I Wanna Love You...
I’ve come across titles similar to this one for more than a few times.
Plus, it’s going to be a love story and I know nothing else. (meaning, it doesn’t show much about the story)
I wouldn’t say it’s dull, but it’s not eye-catching either... ^^
Foreword & Description [8.5/10]
Good job for knowing how to differentiate messages in description & foreword.
(meaning, personal messages to readers should be in the foreword)
Good job for knowing how to differentiate messages in description & foreword.
(meaning, personal messages to readers should be in the foreword)
The idea of storyline in description sounds rather fresh, nothing like every other story is.
As a reader, I’m willing to give it a shot! ;D
Thumbs up!
As a reader, I’m willing to give it a shot! ;D
Thumbs up!
About your foreword, never give up, ne?
All the best~ ^^
All the best~ ^^
Graphics [3.5/5]
I like your poster.
It has a playful feel, and I thought EunHae is playfully going on behind the girl... xD
LOVE your chapter poster!
Credit for you in bothering to insert pictures in the middle of chapter. ^^
I like your poster.
It has a playful feel, and I thought EunHae is playfully going on behind the girl... xD
LOVE your chapter poster!
Credit for you in bothering to insert pictures in the middle of chapter. ^^
Your background is all EunHae.
Is it a hint that the story is EunHae forever?
Well, but it’s not...
Still, would be better if you add the girl into the background as well...Or maybe a quote. ^^
Is it a hint that the story is EunHae forever?
Well, but it’s not...
Still, would be better if you add the girl into the background as well...Or maybe a quote. ^^
Sub-Total [14/20]
Creation Section
Originality [21/30]
An innocent girl who feel in love with two guys & can’t actually decide.
Not the most repeated idea, but I’ve seen it a few times.
An innocent girl who feel in love with two guys & can’t actually decide.
Not the most repeated idea, but I’ve seen it a few times.
Some of the parts went different from my guess, which is a really good thing.
The smut scene of a girl vs. two guys is so original. .____.
I got shocked, but well, we’re talking about creativity here.
Whether I like it or not, am bringing it for judge in next section, ‘plot’. ^^
I got shocked, but well, we’re talking about creativity here.
Whether I like it or not, am bringing it for judge in next section, ‘plot’. ^^
Storyline / Plot [18/30]
They started practising, and poof~ Concert time?! It went a little bit fast there...
The smut part of Donghae & her, I’m assuming that’s your climax (xD), I totally got all excited... >_<
They started practising, and poof~ Concert time?! It went a little bit fast there...
The smut part of Donghae & her, I’m assuming that’s your climax (xD), I totally got all excited... >_<
Two guys vs. one girl, oh my god!
Is she a whore...?! And how come Donghae, as her boyfriend, is cool with it?!
Dirty...
Is she a whore...?! And how come Donghae, as her boyfriend, is cool with it?!
Dirty...
By the way, all I see is fight between EunHae, girl stealing moments of guilty pleasure so far and it’s getting sick... Perhaps the next big drama is on Kyunghee?
Try adding more peeks that circle away from the love triangle, huh? ^^
Language [18/20]
The vocabularies you use... *nods*
Indicates that your language is quite good.
The vocabularies you use... *nods*
Indicates that your language is quite good.
Minor grammar mistakes which are rather seldom
Resulted in, not to
Chapter 7, he looked down at her, not up. He’s above her whose on the floor, remember?
Resulted in, not to
Chapter 7, he looked down at her, not up. He’s above her whose on the floor, remember?
Flow of Story [18/20]
Flow of story is often affected by storyline and language.
You’re alright in both of the sections.
Flow of story is often affected by storyline and language.
You’re alright in both of the sections.
Almost flawless language, your storyline flows on smoothly, putting its originality and creativity aside.
Thumbs up for you.
Thumbs up for you.
Sub-Total [75/100]
Bonus Section
Characterization [6.5/10]
Yoomin, somehow naive but toys with the two guys?
Can’t control her lust most of the times?
I don’t like this kind of personality... But this is fiction, and she has a rather strong personality, so, I approve.
Yoomin, somehow naive but toys with the two guys?
Can’t control her lust most of the times?
I don’t like this kind of personality... But this is fiction, and she has a rather strong personality, so, I approve.
Donghae, sweet and gentle.
Eunhyuk, on the other hand, more aggressive and passionate.
Sungmin, cute and innocent, the knows-it-all most story has...
Kyunghee, evil... Antagonist which every story has, I assume?
Personalities of your characters I would say, are in the safe zone...
You should try adding more outstanding features if possible, to leave a deep impression in readers.
Anyway, safe is okay.
You should try adding more outstanding features if possible, to leave a deep impression in readers.
Anyway, safe is okay.
Style of Writing [7.5/10]
In chapter 12, it did sound like some bad movies in the ‘star’ part of Donghae’s confession, but it’s still romantic...
(meaning, I couldn’t help laughing when I read it, but that kind of line still works for me no doubt)
In chapter 12, it did sound like some bad movies in the ‘star’ part of Donghae’s confession, but it’s still romantic...
(meaning, I couldn’t help laughing when I read it, but that kind of line still works for me no doubt)
Good job in your detailed description, I can actually picture the scenes in my head.
Captivity [2/5]
There aren’t much climax & drama scenes that excited me a lot.
On the whole, I don’t find it that captivating.
Girl going out with Donghae, girl enjoy guilty pleasure with Eunhyuk...
I’ve been reading this for twenty over chapters...
There aren’t much climax & drama scenes that excited me a lot.
On the whole, I don’t find it that captivating.
Girl going out with Donghae, girl enjoy guilty pleasure with Eunhyuk...
I’ve been reading this for twenty over chapters...
Format & Layout of Story (Neatness) [3/5]
Some chapters are too long.
I realize one thing, you started to add ‘*’ sign starting from some chapters after the beginning.
It’s good to separate sections to make things easier for readers.
Some chapters are too long.
I realize one thing, you started to add ‘*’ sign starting from some chapters after the beginning.
It’s good to separate sections to make things easier for readers.
Sub-Total [19/30]
Total [108/150] / [73/100]
Intense smut, mild smut, blah blah blah... I guess I just have to read it as your reviewer?
All the best to you anyway...
All the best to you anyway...
- Claraine
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