Title : His Cactus, Her Love
Story Link : [click]
Author : dulcee
Status : Ongoing, 7 chapters
Workshop : Literature Mused Reviews
First Impression Section
Title [3.5/5]
It wasn’t very appealing, to be truthful.
After reading it, I guess his ‘cactus’ means Yooae?
Anyway, the title’s really unique.
After reading it, I guess his ‘cactus’ means Yooae?
Anyway, the title’s really unique.
Foreword & Description [9/10]
It’s awesome, and it serves its purpose well, luring me into turning to the next page.
It’s an introduction, so it’s good to bring the characters out short and simple.
I love the extract you pick for your foreword, that part is interesting just by itself.
It doesn’t confuse readers either, unlike some of the extracts on foreword (in other stories) which give readers annoying question marks.
It doesn’t confuse readers either, unlike some of the extracts on foreword (in other stories) which give readers annoying question marks.
Graphics [3/5]
It’s kind of simple, and personally, I do find it too greenish.
Still, poster looks fine.
I love the way how the title’s written on a piece of ripped paper.
Still, poster looks fine.
I love the way how the title’s written on a piece of ripped paper.
Sub-Total [15.5/20]
Creation Section
Originality [25/30]
It’s not something we see every day.
However, an ‘almost-nobody’ who’s crushing hard on a kingka isn’t that new.
However, an ‘almost-nobody’ who’s crushing hard on a kingka isn’t that new.
To me, it’s rather original, because of the unexpected little ideas all over the story.
For example, the part she went blind-dating and MyungSoo couldn’t recognize her.
And the part on the conflict of her hair colour and MyungSoo’s stand-up for her.
For example, the part she went blind-dating and MyungSoo couldn’t recognize her.
And the part on the conflict of her hair colour and MyungSoo’s stand-up for her.
Storyline / Plot [27/30]
I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing.
It’s hilarious, the way you write it.
It’s hilarious, the way you write it.
One thing, on the sixth chapter, I think it’s slightly too detailed and readers’ spasm of emotions might get mild.
I got so excited at the part where she confessed though.
I got so excited at the part where she confessed though.
Language [19/20]
I spotted a missing word in the first part of foreword and slight spelling mistakes.
Proofread it, you’ll find it with ease.
Proofread it, you’ll find it with ease.
Anyway, overall is really good. Occasional spelling mistakes found with suitable choice of words. And grammatical mistake-free.
Thumbs up.
Thumbs up.
Flow of Story [20/20]
It can’t flow any better, the speed of storyline is just right in conjunction with the length of chapters written.
It’s amazing, of how you do it.
It’s amazing, of how you do it.
Sub-Total [91/100]
Bonus Section
Characterization [9/10]
I love the way you portray MyungSoo, unintentionally slow and blunt.
And being a kingka, I understand that he has to b a gentleman in the eyes’ of girls.
I’m glad that you bother to write that part out.
And being a kingka, I understand that he has to b a gentleman in the eyes’ of girls.
I’m glad that you bother to write that part out.
About Yooae persona, I’m glad that she’s not another typical almost-nobody-but-daringly-running-after-a-kingka-claiming-him-her-own girl, or a ‘innocently-needs-protection-gets-pity-from-guy’ girl.
She has the shy and hesitant side of a girl, which I like.
She has the shy and hesitant side of a girl, which I like.
About Airi, being a mystery.
It just doesn’t feel right.
It gives out that she’s going to be a mysterious antagonize which I see in a lot of stories.
Surprise me if she isn’t.
It just doesn’t feel right.
It gives out that she’s going to be a mysterious antagonize which I see in a lot of stories.
Surprise me if she isn’t.
Style of Writing [10/10]
It’s perfect, the way you describe the scenarios.
I could imagine it in my head.
I could imagine it in my head.
Expresses storyline clearly to readers without being verbose.
Yet it doesn’t arouses confusion.
Double thumbs up.
Yet it doesn’t arouses confusion.
Double thumbs up.
Captivity [5/5]
I can’t believe it.
I was reading it during midnight, when I was supposed to be in bed as I’d school the next day.
Still, I kept on clicking ‘next’ and assure myself that this is the last one, but I ended up finish all six in one go.
I was reading it during midnight, when I was supposed to be in bed as I’d school the next day.
Still, I kept on clicking ‘next’ and assure myself that this is the last one, but I ended up finish all six in one go.
I can’t wait for next update!
Format & Layout of Story (Neatness) [4/5]
I like the way you separate different scenes with a neon green bar.
The story’s easy to read, but the font size is slightly small for those using Mozilla Firefox.
Unlike IE, that program doesn’t enable its users to alter the font size of words.
Unlike IE, that program doesn’t enable its users to alter the font size of words.
Sub-Total [28/30]
Total [134.5/150] /[89.6/100]
I tried to review the story real strict but it’s still one of the stories that scored scarily well.
It's my honour getting to review this one/
It's my honour getting to review this one/
By the way, Airi is not in a relationship with Myungsoo right?
It would make the storyline a un-fresh if that’s what going to happen.
It would make the storyline a un-fresh if that’s what going to happen.
Still, this part is so a mystery and I’m not taking it into consideration of the review.
I love it, you rock, dulcee!
Oh, and hwaiting!
- Claraine
